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Start over, start over.
I have moved;D
Open your mouth and ask. Haha:D
Jane
- Mood:
crazy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUp7oxOLa
SING, SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE.
WHETHER YOU'RE GUY/DEPRIVED, DEPRESSED OR UNHAPPY, JUST SING;D
Thank the Lord for everything.(:
Jane:D:D:D:D:D:D
Epically Tessa.
Poo was telling me about what happened to her on monday.
She was chasing after her phone (as usual) in class when she tripped over a broom that Gerontius somehow slipped under her feet.
She banged her poor left knee, the one that pops.
Then she tripped over the couch and banged her head on the door, thus the baluku + orceh.
The impact of her PEEHEAD knocking onto the door was so great she/her head banged open the door and fell out of the classroom.
Then she couldn't get up.
And when she finally got up she went to sit on the couch and fell over in the process.
And when she FINALLY got her phone, it wasn't working already so she thus has a very laopok phone now that can only store 70 messages.
Ow, haha that's the account of the peeface am i right.
You poor thing:) Never mind you have my sympathy:)
Oh today i was just as pee as she was.
BECAUSE NOBODY WENT HOME WITH ME, i slept on the bus,
overslept,
and ended up in IMH. I mean at the bus stop there.
Reminds me of Cat class Renci:D.
THEN I CAME HOME AND STARTED STUDYING.
-Woah-
I think my obsessive perfectionist self is back!
:D
back on track!:D
ODOMODADAEEOMANIINAMOO~
Wl, finally can.
Anyway i'm changing blog soon i guess.
Too many people know.
- Mood:
content
113.80
Thats my bill.
for
2100+ smses
and
$104 worth of smses and calls.
I totally ratted it out M1.
They better waive it, or else.
Anyway i realize that i don't often blog about my daily life.
So i shall do it now:D
Fell asleep at 8.50 yesterday.
Wanted to wake up at 10 to do essay outline.
And i think someone crashed my room at 10, but i didn't know who.
I just said, 'It's morning already? I've lost track of time.''
Then i rolled over and fell asleep again.
Woke up at 5 and couldn't get back to sleep, so i finished essay outline:D
And today.
Was tired in school as well.
Fell asleep in assembly and was rudely awakened by James when she yanked at my shoulders and told me 'it's full day, pass down'.
So anti-climax.
And so Mr Chan went, '... I believe that a full day should not wait till friday. I believe we should have a full day immediately!:D'
Happy child, plus no killjoy dance:D
Then we went to Parkway macs to eat hotcakes, and library afterwards.
Saw Sim and Gerald there.
I was like 'VANESSA! GERALD!
Haha, the whole library stared at me, accompanied with angry hisses. =X
Then honglan was sprawled on her planner at the sofa, and i was attempting to yank out the planner from under her.
Wah phail man, i even took a picture. HAHAH
Okay i'm watching facebook videos now.:D fairly entertaining.
Jane:D
VJ won 3-2.
Until the last minute when Shlowee suddenly started talking about infatuating number 9.
And then.
Grace told me a story.
I'm thoroughly disgusted.
Very grossed out.
I'm scarred for life.
I shall open my eyes bigger in future.
I'm dumping my phone for good.
What's the point.
Jane
- Mood:
cold
Spirit Wings,
You lift me over all
The earth-bound things.
Jane(:
- Mood:
blah
EPIC PHAIL.
Heh i koped from you Shlowee;D Thanks anyway:D First picture on my blog, haha.
This week is an odomodadaeic EPIC PHAIL WEEK. If the following jokes are not at all funny to you, don't mind me, BECAUSE I AM VERY EPIC PHAIL.
Take for instance, Cat's bear in the picture.
Cat: -holds bear- Hey don't you think that this bear's ears looks like cat's?
Me: -stares at the bear, then stares at her ears-
HAHAH.
TELL ME YOU GET THE JOKE.
And anyway the following joke left me laughing for the whole day.
Apparently Mr Boy is disturbed by cockroaches.
So he used cockraches for displacement.
Him: So now, for displacement. I have a cockroach here. It moves 30cm to the right along a 1-D straight line. And then it does a U-turn. AHHH! It must have seen me. Then it goes back 20cm to the left... -drones on-
So i was staring at the U-turn part, wondering why he didn't draw a boy into it. I mean seriously, the cockroach saw Mr Boy so it u-turned what! SO SHOULDNT HE HAVE DRAWN A BOY?
I stoned for the rest of the lesson staring at the blank U-turn. It felt empty without a boy.
After class i was talking loudy along to corridor about WHY MR BOY WOULDN'T DRAW THE BOY, AND MR BOY STRODE PAST ME AND I THINK I SAID BOY 5 TIMES. HHAHAA.
And the following weird quotes.
-Table behind is talking about astronomy visit after school today-
Grace: If you really want to see stars that much, then just go bang your head against the wall.
Mr Teo: Class, if you have any problems, just raise your hand and i'll float by to haunt you. -waves extra VJ teddy around- Teddy bear will help you too!
Mr Teo: -stares at the cockroaches Mr Boy drew on the board- Why are there so many cockroaches on the board? CALL THE SPCA, SOMEBODY!
.____.
Epic.
Anyway, this week was crazy week.
Okay monday, emo tuesday whereby i drowned, and then.
Outings with Tessa on tuesday, wednesday and thursday.
This is what we normally do.
-Sit at random cafeterias like Macs, Pastamania and Mos and MOPE. About idk, haha, our dejections and phailures. Seriously we're just dejected little kids, and we can't help it.
-Pee. Peeface poohead.
-Talk about the same things over and over again.
-Walk into random shops like Daiso.
Me: Ehhh... see this thing so nice, so sweet. -points at letter set with a gazillion hearts-
Tessa: Yeah.
Both: Okay wait, buy already also got no boyfriend to give to, forget it.
HAHHAA.
-Roll our eyes when we see random couples smooching on the escalator. I MEAN YOU'RE ESCALATING, dude.
And then i brought her to church for Ascension Mass. Again.
Lol, then halfway though she went: FROG.
FROG FROG FROG HAHAHAHAHA.
Oh and after match support at Delta, i went to see my grandmother.
I see her almost every week, but its just a very nice feeling to like, buy pao and stuff for my grandparents. Haha.
Tessa asked me, reason being?
Oh because i feel that my parents are getting old so it's also my responsibility to take care of my grandparents, yknow, the filial piety thing.
Man, so profound right. Hahaha. I'm still thinking about that.
Gee, i'm tired. And after school today is like more epic phail. Sigh.
Jane(:
I need air condition, a king-sized bed, a thick quilt with flowery patterns, a nice book, my dance jacket, ice cream chefs, corny songs and a pink room with the Eiffel Tower view outside my window. Now.
I need tender loving care.
I need a smile:)
I need a good friend to talk to, AS IN, REAL LIVE PRESENCE NOT OVER THE PHONE.
I need a crazy laugh.
I need to poke that cute thing from downstairs.
Actually i can suffice.
I have a computer, air condition if i want to, a super single bed, my dance jacket, corny songs and a purple room with the view of Serangoon Gardens.
Yawn.
I want to buy the whole of Aussino.
I want quilt changes every day.
I want flowery things and a canopy.
I want to bite something.
I want pineapple tarts.
I want to smile.
I want a nice dress. Hmm that's weird and random.
Ah. I want to curl my hair. That's even more random.
I want world peace.
I want ice cream.
I want happiness for everyone in this world.
I want to see an end to starvation.
I want happiness for everyone whose emotionally deprived cause emotional/mental hunger is worse than physical hunger.
I want everyone in this world to have TLC.
I want everyone to feel loved from God.
I want my grandmother:D
:)
Jane
- Mood: calm
Tessa pooface and Jane peehead.
Peehead: eh, there got couple leh.
Pooface: lovey dovey couple, public display of affection much?
-lost in bitter thoughts-
Peehead: There they are again.
Both us us start bleah-ing, nyeh-ing and boo-ing.
Anyway,
i have only one thing to say.
NYEH.
Nothing's going to make me sad anymore.
Ascension Mass tmr:D ;D Oh poooooooooooooooooooo.
I don't really care anymore(:
WL Weikang dare call me despo.
61 messages, not drought is called downpour. Then drowned. :O
Summore cannot count. 60 become 61. HAHA.
Thanks for listening anyway;D
Jane
- Mood:
bored
Today, Jane is down in the dumps.
Jane has lost her focus in life.
Dear Jane,
I give you a month to mug like crap and pick up the pieces.
And to throw away the things in life, that don't matter anymore.
Alot of things dont matter in life.
Believe me.
My heart has turned dreadfully cold these 2 days.
I'm sick of trying to understand people i can never understand.
I'm sick of all this.
Today i admitted aloud that i think im losing my beauty every day.
Not as in external beauty, it gets you only ________ <-this far, unless you're gonna be a beauty pagenist or air stewardess or whatever.
But my internal beauty.
My calm composed self.
Coming to VJ, made me throw my morals out of the window to idk where.
I promised myself never to turn out like this, and i did!
Everytime i bitched last time, i would think about it all day.
Like, oh crap i bitched without thinking about what i was saying.
And now i'm doing.... this term i coined 'bitch like free one'.
It's abit of venting, until it turns into a habit.
It keeps flowing out, like mean girls' WORD VOMIT, it cannot stop.
Where am i now.
I'm very angry with myself now.
I thought i could cope being yanked out of my comfort zone.
My happy bubble.
Wl, work hard, happy happy, get back results, happy happy.
Perfect, back then, it was.
And in like these 5 months i've been through more than i've been through in my whole life.
Whereby somedays i stare and stare at the book till i can absorb no longer, and i just fling the book onto the floor and collapse on the bed.
And i still believe that, because i was like that in St Nicks, I CAN DO IT AGAIN.
I admit i've lost my focus.
But im going to get it back, i'm not going to let external factors kill me like it did for the past 5 months.
Because i MADE myself a victim of them.
Yes i'm a no-lifer, people accuse me of having no childhood, and i reflect and admit that i have no childhood.
I'm okay with it, i don't really mind. I spent my childhood preparing for my future.
Which sounds so competitive, but whatever.
The SN self is lost in here, somewhere.
How to survive with the SN self in VJ, very hard.
But i can do it.
And you know what?
I'm throwing the things that DONT MATTER TO ME ANYMORE, out of the window.
If it's not going to get me far in life, then no.
My life doesn't have to revolve around others.
I'm back on track and i'm going to keep running.
Hmmmmm, i need a long cry. I need a day to mope.
But i guess i'll just wait for that day to come.
This bridge is not going to snap because of VJC.
It's like Ender's Game, to see who snaps first.
VJC slapped me in the face, i must admit.
But you'll push me and watch me stand up again.
When the time comes to make decisions, it's THE TIME.
Time and tide waits for no man.
Anything that stands in my way, will no longer stand in my way anymore.
It's either i force myself to be not affected by it, or, i let myself be affected by it, be down in the dumps everyday and drop out of the whole VIP system. Entirely.
I am not going to let that happen.
Look what you've done.
Jane
- Mood:awake
Who bully my poor chew.
Chew next time come to my class and hide under the table.
Then that stupid person won't come and kahchiow you anymore.
You're my boyflen and that's that.
I'm very irritated now.
How can bully my chew flen.
Angry li.
Jane
- Mood:
irritated
Hot showers to douse away euphorias.
Which were never meant to be there in the first place.
Dreams are dreams.
Anyway, it's just a game of heartbreak, lies, infatuations and doubt.
Just another game.
Nahhh.
Jane
- Mood: cold
Talking to people...
Really helps me see alot about myself.
I've been too impulsive.
I think 70% of my VJC life is now, here, because i was impulsive.
Its the whole zao zhi jin ri, he bi dang cu thing.
I admit i'm a victim of that myself.
I have learnt that alot of things dont have answers to them.
You think and think and think and it just comes back one round.
Sometimes the root of the problem, is actually yourself.
Actually most of the time.
I have gossiped/bitched wayyy too much; i didn't know that i reflects badly on myself, as well as the impact/magnitude of it is like crazy.
So many misunderstandings like the tornado effect.
I've learnt to stop wishing for things that'll never come.
I've learnt to realize that i've not always been a good friend, because i expect people to be there for me always, but i'm not always there for people always.
A Godly person is one who manages to take alot of anger; whereby people rant to you, they take things out on you, they use them as your punchbag, and because you have GOD, you're non-judgmental, you don't get angry BECAUSE of what they did to you, you're open-minded and you SEE FOR YOURSELF before you make judgements.
You take part but don't take sides.
That, i admit, is something that I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING.
Thus so much anger.
It's super hard, come to think of it.
To take in all the anger.
I mean, front door back door, i always ask myself, take in all the anger then where does it go?
Where's my back door?
Hmmmm, then sometimes i find myself sleeping with a tummy full of anger, disatisfaction, or otherwise i go downstairs and keep walking. Haha.
Man i need God.
I've also come to realize that, alot of things in life don't come with answers.
I should simply stop asking.
Alot of things don't come with a full stop, it doesn't end. It's just left hanging and all you do is suffer in silence waiting for an answer that'll never come.
That's when you KNOW you NEED you let go.
How to let go when there's emotions attached? Okay this one super hard.
I think in VJ, about 60% of my questions are like unanswered, come to think of it.
Math questions sure got Mr Woo answer one:D but that's beside the point.
Coming from SN, i never had a question unanswered. The answer was just right there. Everything was explained, straight, down to earth, TO THE POINT.
No such thing as like, leaving things hanging. If i left things hanging there i would have died.
Too used to having closure in my life.
I should stop acting on impulsive.
A Godly person asks, listens, then acts.
I just act.
Sometimes the words are out before i know it la, then i'll think, oh shoot Jane, what did you just say?
Then i'll mentally reprimand myself for it, telling myself not to do it again.
But once it has happened once, it will happen again. And that's sad.
You call it conscience, i call it Holy Spirit.
Sigh.
Jane
mỳлз ỳ @и T@μ says:
THAT WAS THE WORST HAIKU I'VE EVER SEEn
Yes Yan, my haikus must be really bad.
Anyway today i went shopping at Raffles City.
And i saw this really cute shop. So sweet little baby things. It stated, for children.
Then my eyes hovered around the shop..
And i saw.
Age 0-2
AND AGE 3-14!
I SCREAMED AND RAN INSIDE OKAY.
I COULD FIND THINGS THAT FITTED ME. WAAAAAA.
Eh heh,
bliss was it in that dawn to be a child.
IM A CHILD;D
Jane
- Mood:
bouncy
make me want to throw something
Yan, don't say it's a haiku that doesn't match. It's not meant to be a haiku AND IM ANGRY.
pardon me im sleepy and angry. and irritated.
Jane
- Mood: angry
Dreams.
I had a very scary dream last night, actually no, this morning.
I was by the sea.
I spotted an upright cross.
The cross was a crucifix with Christ on it. (It looks like the one we have in our cat class room)
It was stained, bloody. Very very bloody.
I was shocked. Startled.
I kept thinking, who's the maniac who did this? How could he do this? It's The Cross!
The song started playing. The violin version.
Lamb of God
Your only Son, no sin to hide
but you have sent Him
from your side;
to walk upon this guilty sod
and to become the Lamb of God.
Your gift of love they crucified
they laughed and scorned Him
as He died;
the Humble King they named a fraud
and sacrificed the Lamb of God.
And then the cross fell, at my feet.
And the Christ, the crucifix, was crying. Tearing.
I ran to hug my mother, i didn't want to see anymore.
And i woke up crying.
I cried for a long time.
I kept thinking, am i the person who did it? Am i the 'maniac'?
Seriously, i've been such a culprit of social sin.
I don't even know who i've hurt so badly.
But i've hurt Christ for sure.
): sorry.
And of course, my mother was by my side when i woke up, haha, i can't cry without her knowing. Mothers know everything.
Sigh.
My teacher says it might be my calling. :OOO
So sad to see that Christ is bearing so much pain for us.
For every word i say, every word WE say, we're hurting someone. Hurting Christ.
Ahhh there you go, emo me:)
ANYWAY.
Today i was in Cat class.
Remember Tessa how i told you that i would die if he ever talked to me.
And of course fate made us sit together next to each other (obviously, fate does these things)
And he talked to me, and obviously i didn't die if not how could i have lived to tell you.
AND GUESS WHAT?
I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO HOT GUYS ANYMORE. NO MORE DEBONAIRS.
GIVE YOU LA TESSA.
HAHAHAHAA.
I know, aren't you just proud of me?
And thennnn, after class i was with the clique in the lift, they started talking about dinner, then i left.
Then Jon said ,''Eh, why so emo? Anti-social luh you.''
I think he's gonna give up trying to get me to socialize and talk. HAHA.
Jane
- Mood: calm
''No matter how debonair you are, you don't appeal to me, so it's okay. HAHA''
Ownage.
Anyway, i've been more composed nowadays, except frequent outbursts, and Shermon will just go ''Eh this girl can't stop whining''.
And i'll shut up and start all over again, slamming my stuff around, tsk-ing... Haha.
Life seems to have slowed to a stop after physics test, although there's still tests next week.
AND THEN, WHEN LIFE SLOWS TO A STOP, ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO THINK, YOU START BEING BORED.
I'm super super bored now.
I want to go shopping. I want to study but have no motivation to):
Ah haha for my bao zhang, i finally produced SN quality work, nei rong sheng dong, so super sheng dong i got 11/10. Big mistake on Song Lao Shi's part eh heh heh;D
There's so many people i want to meet personally to have a good talk over, sheesh.
Actually no there's only one.
Anyyway today was VJ's soccer match against RJ.
We totally owned haha, 10-1 and ZT and i were screaming like crazy.
Then i saw my
AHA CHLOE I BET YOU MELTED.
I went to him to tell him how much VJ owned, and then he just said
Eh later i going movie, don't tell mummy.
Tsk, HAHA.
Oh Jane shall have a list of corny songs:D Christine i think you contribute to half of them.
She will be loved (OKAY SCREAM)
Tonight (ooh, bintan;D)
Moment of truth (yeah it starts with M and ends with Oment of truth. HAHA)
You and Me
Cannonball
Collide
Whatever It takes
Close
GO LISTEN TO ALL, OR PICK ONE TO PROVE THAT JANE'S LIST OF CORNY SONGS IS OFFICIALLY CORNY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU MELT, THEN APPROVE IT AND CONTINUE LISTENING
I know that goodbye means nothing at all,
Comes back and begs me to catch her everytime she falls.
AND YOU JUST WANNA MELT AND GO, AWWWWWW.
And yknow, it's songs about Jane. HAHA:D
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye.<3
& they still love each other. AWWWWWWWWWW.
INSERTS 128372198372189073127370123 HEARTS:D
Jane
- Mood:
nostalgic
My life is like a fairytale.
Okay i bet that whoever reads the above statement would have eyebrows disappearing into their fringe, like whoa, what happened to Janetan?
AH WELL, IF YOU BELIEVE:D
You know how bored i am now.
There's chinese test next week, who cares.
Physics test just over.
My results for CA1 sucks.
I've learnt to live with it though.
Gah. I have to mug for review tests soon. Ahahahahaha. Who am i trying to kid.
IM BORED. GAHHH.
Oh oh, i would like to commend a friend;D
11.40pm
Me: Hey sucker, lao niang's in deep shit now, is depressed, and doesn't know what to do. Help. Got time talk anot?
Friend: Hmmm, now what time ah? Oh. 11.40pm, tmr got physics test leh! But never mind;D, spare you some time. Wassup?
-rant begins-
Yay for Kah Yan, ah ha. True friends hotline, 24/7.
I hung up, emo-ed for another hour and she called me after she finished studying and thinking about my situation.
That's what friends are for(:
Jane
Facebooking really does make me jealous sometimes.
I look at all the places that people go to and i wish i was a tiny bit richer.
Actually that's not the issue, it's just that my parents dont like spending.
Anyway, my parents did alot for me;D
Thank you parents;D
And if i ever have kids, i'll give them what my parents gave me, and more.
I'll give them alot more, IF I'M NOT ANTI-SINGULARITY BY THEN.
OKAY IM CONTENTED;D
Actually im very contented now.
HAPPY CHILD;D
Jane;D
I'M A HAPPY CHILD.
IM SO HAPPY I CAN MELT.
I AM A HAPPY HAPPY CHILD.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I LIKE MR TEO ALOT. BECAUSE HE CALLS US CHILDREN.
I'M LESS THAN 2 MONTHS AWAY FROM MY BIRTHDAY.
AND HE CALLS US CHILDREN. ISN'T THAT JUST SO NICE OF HIM.
AFTER I TURN 15, IM OFFICIALLY NOT A CHILD ANYMORE BECAUSE I'LL HAVE MY IC, AND I'M NO LONGER UNDER ALOT OF GOVERNMENTAL PROTECTION RIGHTS, AND IM NOT A CHILD ANYMORE SO I HAVE TO THINK BEFORE I SPEAK.
HOW LOUSY IS THAT.
YAN, SUPPORT MY ABOVE STATEMENT ON NOT WANTING TO GROW UP.
I DO NOT WISH TO GROW UP.
I JUST REALIZED THAT IM STILL WITHIN THE AGE GROUP OF LIKE, MY YOUNG TIME HAPPY KIDS AGE GROUP.
I'M STILL A CHILD.
AND I CAN STILL RUN TO MY MOTHER WHEN IM SCARED.
IM STILL A CHILD.
SO I'M STILL UNDER THE POPULATION PYRAMID'S FINANCIALLY DEPENDANTS AGE GROUP.
MR TEO, CALL ME A CHILD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFETIME, I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP AND HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES,
and it was when the heart finally emerged, whipping out the cold sword.
a fight ensued. boy did it last.
but the rationale triumphed in the end.
RATIONALE, TALK.
all was not lost.
I detest being in the transition period between a child and an adult.
Because like 80% of the people around me now are like talking with their hearts, not their rationality.
And i'm included. BUT I'M RATIONALE.
Jane
- Mood:
happy
